Funeral

3. Personalization

Making the funeral service meaningful is an important aspect that helps in the moving-on process. To do this, you may personalize the funeral to make the person’s relatives and loved ones more at ease with the situation. Having the dead body of the person you loved in one room is hard enough as it is. In planning a funeral, you may add a specific element that reflects the person who had died. 

Let’s say the deceased was once a writer or admired novels when they were still alive. To reflect this in the service, you may organize a session during the visitation where close relatives and friends read a quote in one of the dead person’s favorite novels. A former musician’s funeral may have a specific music genre playing in the background during the ceremony. Deciding how to make the funeral more sincere will depend on how people remember the deceased person and how they want to remember them.

4. Pick a Permanent Location for the Body

The most important part of a funeral is where the body will be laid to rest. Funeral services such as burial at sea, traditional cremation, and green burial require a place where the body will be permanently situated. There are many options to choose from when deciding where to place a body forever. 

Most will pick a spot in a cemetery for traditional burials while cremated bodies are taken home and put on a shrine to remember the loved one forever. Although people usually take the ashes of the cremated body home, it often prolongs the grieving process. Plus, it is not a permanent solution. At some point, people will have to spread those ashes someplace else, most likely a place significant to the person.

Paying for A Funeral

Funerals can get expensive, so having a funeral planned and funded ahead of time will benefit you. Extra expenses during a funeral may include paying for catering services, reservation of reception halls, and flowers. Your loved one may have had a life insurance plan that covers the cost of having a funeral. 

However, for other cases such as sudden accidents and unexpected deaths, this may not be applicable. Discussing such concerns with a professional can help you better understand how to manage your expenses. You may also seek help from relatives and other family members to help cover the bills.

Why Plan a Funeral Ahead of Time

Planning a funeral ahead of time does not necessarily mean they are preparing for death. Early planning is not in any way a means of giving up on life. Sometimes, planning your funeral can help lessen the stress and complications your relatives may go through after you die. 

People who plan these things are usually those in their deathbeds, people with severe illnesses, or older adults who do not want to waste time. Serious planning can even benefit your family as it lessens the work they have to do. Knowing what you want for your funeral ceremony will also ease your loved one’s pain as they will know that despite your passing, they were able to do what you wanted for your burial. Planning can also help them grieve quicker because they know that they could fulfill your final desires, despite not being with them.

CONCLUSION

Knowing the basics of funeral planning will prepare you for the worst. While it will not eliminate the feeling of dread and anxiety from losing someone dear to you, it will help lessen the pressure. Having a loved one pass will never be easy, so it is best to do everything you can to avoid being too miserable. 

Life will always throw something terrible at your face as soon as you think things are going your way. Death has always been a scary topic, and dealing with it can get unsettling. As long as you know what to do and how to do it well, planning a funeral can become less intimidating.

Not How Did He Die

by: Summer Sandercox

The next poem reflects on how a man lived his life. It sends the message that it isn’t the end that defines a man’s life but how he lived it before the end. 

Not how did he die, but how did he live?

Not what did he gain, but what did he give?

These are the units to measure the worth

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?

But had he befriended those really in need?

Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,

But how many were sorry when he passed away.

He is Gone

by: David Harkins

I particularly like this poem. It talks about the two perspectives following death. We can choose to be sad that dad’s gone or be grateful for how he loved us while alive. Our dads wouldn’t want us to be sad that he’s gone but to use his influence on our lives to carry on. 

You can shed tears that he is gone,

or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all he’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,

or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he’d want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

A Poem for Daddy in Heaven

by: Michele Meleen

It’s comforting to think that even if our fathers may be gone, they’re up there listening to us.

I know you can hear me

way up in heaven

because we talk

through our hearts.

Dear Daddy in heaven

I miss you every day

and I know you miss me too.

No matter how old I get

or how long you’re gone,

I hear you, Daddy,

up in heaven

through the love

in my heart.

God’s Garden

by: Anonymous Author

I never thought of death this way. It’s a very light-hearted and comforting poem, especially if the death is still fresh. 

God looked around his garden- And found an empty place,

He then looked down upon the earth- And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you -And lifted you to rest.

God’s garden must be beautiful -He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering -He knew you were in pain.

He knew that you would never – Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough – And the hills were hard to climb.

So he closed your weary eyelids – And whispered, ‘Peace be thine.’

It broke our hearts to lose you – But you didn’t go alone,

For part of us went with you – The day God called you home.

The Broken Chain

by: Ron Tranmer

One day, we’ll be reunited with our father, and what a sweet day that would be.

We little knew the day that

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you didn’t go alone.

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.

Your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you

You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken

and nothing seems the same,

but as God calls us one by one

the chain will link again. 

Our Father’s Garden

by: Unknown Author

Most of the time, it’s our fathers who’re responsible for planting and nurturing the values we keep. Their loving nature is the perfect nourishment for these seeds to grow.

Our Father kept a garden.

A garden of the heart;

He planted all the good things,

That gave our lives their start.

He turned us to the sunshine,

And encouraged us to dream:

Fostering and nurturing

The seeds of self-esteem.

And when the winds and rain came,

He protected us enough;

But not too much because he knew

We would stand up strong and tough.

His constant good example,

Always taught us right from wrong;

Markers for our pathway that will last a lifetime long.

We are our Fathers garden,

We are his legacy.

Thank you Dad we love you

Life Lessons

by: Joanna Fuchs

In one way or another, dads impart important life lessons onto us. Whether we know it or not, our lives are greatly impacted by how they lived. 

You may have thought I didn’t see,

Or that I hadn’t heard,

Life lessons that you taught to me,

But I got every word.

Perhaps you thought I missed it all,

And that we’d grow apart,

But Dad, I picked up everything,

It’s written on my heart.

Without you, Dad, I wouldn’t be

The (woman)(man) I am today;

You built a strong foundation

No one can take away.

I’ve grown up with your values,

And I’m very glad I did;

So here’s to you, dear father,

From your forever grateful kid.

Memories Of My Dad

by: Rebecca D. Cook

I think I speak for all of us that we think of our dads as being a figure that’s larger than life. We think of them as unstoppable superheroes, capable of overcoming any challenge they face. Our dads may only be humans in essence, but they’re superhuman to us. 

He wasn’t a hero,

Known by the world.

But a hero he was,

To his little girl.

My daddy was God,

Who knew all things.

And better than Santa,

With the gifts he’d bring.

I knew his voice,

Before I could speak.

And loved it when,

He would sing me to sleep.

He changed my diapers,

And sat up all night.

When my body was weak

And I’d put up a fight.

He’d come home late,

With not much to say.

And made us all kneel,

As he taught me to pray.

He taught me life’s lessons,

Of right from wrong.

And instilled in me values,

That I might be strong.

And so through the years,

Like a hero he stood.

Working to give,

All that he could.

His presence was important,

And we loved to see him smile.

For no one in the world,

Could emulate his style.

And so dear Dad,

My best memory to recall.

Is the gift of your presence,

The greatest gift of all.

My Dad

by: Vicky Frye

Every dad should make their children feel that they’re the greatest dad in the world. Some of the most critical years in a person’s life are their formative years, and dads are a huge part of that.

If I could write a story,

It would be the greatest ever told.

I’d write about my daddy,

For he had a heart of gold.

My dad, he was no hero

Known around this world.

He was everything to me,

For I was his baby girl.

I’d write about the lessons.

He taught me right from wrong.

He instilled in me the values

That one day I’d be strong.

He taught me to face my fears,

Take each day as it comes,

For there are things that we can’t change.

He would say what’s done is done.

He would say, hold your head up high,

Carry yourself with pride.

Thanks to him, I am somebody,

I will never run and hide.

If I could write a story,

It would be the greatest ever told.

I’d write about my daddy,

For he had a heart of gold.

Dad

by: Unknown Author

Remember your father because you only have one.

We’ll always remember

That special smile,

That caring heart,

That warm embrace,

You always gave us.

You being there

For Mom and us

Through good and bad times,

No matter what.

We’ll always remember

You Dad because

They’ll never be another one

To replace you in our hearts,

And the love we will always

Have for you

Family Tree

by: Unknown Author

I particularly like this one. It depicts exactly what our late fathers want us to do, and that is to carry on with life and continue his legacy. 

A limb has fallen from the family tree

I hear a voice that whispers, ‘Grieve not for me’

Remember the best times, the laughter, the songs

The good I lived while I was strong

Continue my heritage, I’m counting on you

Keep on smiling, the sun will shine through.

My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest

Remembering all…how I was truly blessed

Continue traditions, no matter how small

Go on with your lives, don’t stare at the wall

I miss you all dearly so keep up your chin

Until that fine day we’re together again.

To My Father

by: Georgia Harkness

This poem beautifully likens a father to a pine tree, magnificent and staunch, unwavering. Like the pine tree, fathers support life, exuding beauty, grace, and power in the process. 

A giant pine, magnificent and old

Stood staunch against the sky and all around

Shed beauty, grace and power.

Within its fold birds safely reared their young.

The velvet ground beneath was gentle,

and the cooling shade gave cheer to passers by.

Its towering arms a landmark stood, erect and unafraid,

As if to say, “Fear naught from life’s alarms.”

It fell one day.

Where it had dauntless stood was loneliness and void.

But men who passed paid tribute – and said,

“To know this life was good,

It left it’ mark on me. Its work stands fast”.

And so it lives. Such life no bonds can hold –

This giant pine, magnificent and old.

A Love Like No Other

by: Paula M. Newman

The comfort and safety our fathers provide us with are like no other. His love is like no other. 

From the time I was born I guess you would know.

Ten perfect fingers and Ten little toes

When you first put your finger in my tiny hand that’s when I first knew

You were my papa no one else would do

As I grow older and reach for the sky

My Papa is still there to keep that twinkle in my eye.

When I need someone to hold me you never say I’m too big

You pick me up and squeeze me and whisper you’re my little kid.

Most other people don’t understand me or maybe just not as well.

That’s why you’re the one I run to when I have something to tell.

I love you Papa as you can see

I’m so glad that you’re a part of me.

My Father, My Father

by: Dakota Ellerton

This poem encapsulates everything a dad does from showing how beautiful the world can be to making his kids prepared for when he has to leave them eventually. 

My father, my father,

I love he,

my father, my father,

made me see,

how beautiful this world really can be.

My father, my father,

said to me,

my daughter my daughter,

come see me,

I wont be around forever, and i have things that must be.

My father, my father,

dont die on me.

Fathers Are Wonderful People

by: Helen Steiner Rice

Fathers truly are wonderful people, but this poem is beautiful in the way it shows how much fathers have to stay strong despite their struggles. 

Fathers are wonderful people

Too little understood,

And we do not sing their praises

As often as we should…

For, somehow, Father seems to be

The man who pays the bills,

While Mother binds up little hurts

And nurses all our ills…

And Father struggles daily

To live up to ‘his image’

As protector and provider

And ‘hero of the scrimmage’…

And perhaps that is the reason

We sometimes get the notion,

That Fathers are not subject

To the thing we call emotion,

But if you look inside Dad’s heart,

Where no one else can see

You’ll find he’s sentimental

And as ‘soft’ as he can be…

But he’s so busy every day

In the grueling race of life,

He leaves the sentimental stuff

To his partner and his wife…

But Fathers are just wonderful

In a million different ways,

And they merit loving compliments

And accolades of praise,

For the only reason Dad aspires

To fortune and success

Is to make the family proud of him

And to bring them happiness…

And like Our Heavenly Father,

He’s a guardian and a guide,

Someone that we can count on

To be always on our side.

You Were There

by: Unknown Author

Our dads were always there for us, but this time they can’t be. 

You were there when we took our first steps,

And went unsteadily across the floor.

You pushed and prodded: encouraged and guided,

Until our steps took us out the door…

You worry now. “Are they ok?”

Is there more you could have done?

As we walk the paths of our unknown

You wonder, “Where have my children gone?”

Where we are is where you have led us,

With your special love, you showed us a way,

To believe in ourselves and the decisions we make.

Taking on the challenge of life day-to-day.

And where we go, you can be sure,

In spirit, you shall never be alone.

For where you are is what matters most to us,

Because to us, that will always be home…

Mirror

by: J. Allen Shaw

I relate to this on a personal level because I look just like my father. Resembling him so much creates an extra heavy burden to carry on his legacy. Be proud to be your father’s son or daughter.

Dad, I am often told I am just like you.

I am honored beyond measure if that is true.

You were the best example of what a man should be.

I am overwhelmed that someone would say that of me.

I never told you enough how proud I am to be called your son,

Now that you are gone, I want to tell everyone.

You gave me much more than a name,

Someday, I hope my son says the same.

Only A Dad

by: Edgar Guest

Often, we forget to thank our dads for everything they do for us. Despite being “only a dad,” we all know he’s much more than that.

Only a dad, with a tired face,

Coming home from the daily race,

Bringing little of gold or fame,

To show how well he has played the game,

But glad in his heart that his own rejoice.

To see him come, and to hear his voice.

Only a dad, with a brood of four,

One of ten million men or more.

Plodding along in the daily strife,

Bearing the whips and the scorns of life,

With never a whimper of pain or hate,

For the sake of those who at home await.

Only a dad, neither rich nor proud,

Merely one of the surging crowd.

Toiling, striving from day to day,

Facing whatever may come his way,

Silent, whenever the harsh condemn,

And bearing it all for the love of them.

Only a dad, but he gives his all.

To smooth the way for his children small,

Doing, with courage stern and grim,

The deeds that his father did for him.

This is the line that for him I pen,

Only a dad, but the best of men.

“Special Hero” by Christina M. Kerschen

Last, but certainly not the least, is a poem that reflects on how safe our fathers make us feel. We should all count our lucky stars for how much our dads have loved us. 

When I was a baby,

you would hold me in your arms.

I felt the love and tenderness,

keeping me safe from harm.

I would look up into your eyes,

and all the love I would see.

How did I get so lucky?

You were the dad chosen for me.

There is something special

about a father’s love.

Seems it was sent to me

from someplace up above.

Our love is everlasting.

I just wanted you to know

that you’re my special hero,

and I wanted to tell you so.

Complete an Apprenticeship

The ABFSE requires you to apprentice under a licensed and practicing mortician for one to three years before becoming a professional yourself. The great thing is that this doesn’t follow a linear path after getting an education, as you can complete your apprenticeship before, during, or after your formal education. Some states may require apprentices to have an apprentice license, so you might want to confer with state laws and regulations beforehand.

Pass the Licensure Exam

Morticians are required to pass a state licensure exam in order to practice. Candidates must have completed the two steps prior to this one and be at least 21 years of age. When preparing for your exam, you’ll want to look out for the following subjects: 

• psychology
• business law
• funeral service merchandising
• funeral service history
• microbiology

You will also find that a funeral director exam is separate from the embalmer licensing one in some states. 

Maintain Licensure

The final step, which will be an ongoing or continuous process, involves keeping up with rules and regulations to keep practicing legally (Please don’t practice illegally). Some stays require morticians to participate in continuing education activities, keeping them updated o the most relevant trends and developments in the industry, making them better morticians overall. You have two options in continuing education: in-person and online; both are equally valid.

General guidelines in selecting what to wear 

As with any event, deciding what to wear to a wake can be somewhat tricky, especially if you’ve never attended one before. As a general rule of thumb, it’s always better to overdress than underdress. With that, here are some of the safest bets for an outfit choice.

1. Wear dark or non-flashy colors. The last thing you want to do when attending an event like a wake is to attract unnecessary attention. The whole point of attending this event is to pay your respects to the dead and keep the focus on them. Instead of wearing bright colors and prints, try muted colors like black, navy, gray, and brown.
2. Accessorize minimally. We also suggest keeping jewelry to a minimum. Keep it nice and simple.
3. Don’t dress too casually. While wakes are less formal than funerals, that doesn’t mean you should just show up in a t-shirt and shorts. Wearing something along the lines of smart or business casual will be well-received. 

These guidelines will likely get you through any wake without standing out too much. But while these will apply for virtually all cases, sometimes you do have the luxury of dressing up a bit flashy or funny. 

Some wakes are themed, most likely if the dearly departed had a fun and easy-going personality. To celebrate their memory and life, the family could choose to require attires, such as costumes or sports jerseys. If that’s the case, you’ll want to stick to the theme to avoid being a Debbie Downer. In other cases, the family hosting the wake won’t even be too strict in enforcing some sort of dress code. If you want to get an accurate idea of what you should wear, try asking the departed’s family members. 

Outfit ideas for men

These are some business casual or smart casual attires that will be appropriate in most wakes.

• A button-down shirt with dark pants and dress shoes
• A long-sleeved button-down shirt 
• A sweater with nice pants

Outfit ideas for women

Similarly, women will also want to wear formal or semi-formal attire for most wakes. A general rule of thumb is to wear something that you would wear to an interview. Here are some ideas.

• Simple and neutral-colored dress 
• Dark skirt with a blouse or sweater
• A sweater or blouse with dress pants

What both men should avoid

• Bright-colored and popping patterns
• Graphic or statement shirts
• Denim jeans
• Shorts
• Baseball caps
• Flip-flops or rubber shoes
• Tattered clothing
• Skimpy skirts

Psalm 23:3

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Exodus 14:14

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

Mark 5:34

Jesus said to the woman, “You are now well because of your faith. May God give you peace! You are healed, and you will no longer be in pain.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Psalm 34:19

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

John 14:14

If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Psalm 30:11

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.

Matthew 14:36

They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed.

Psalm 107:19-20

“Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, snatching them from the door of death.

Psalm 41:3

The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 91:5-6

You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

Psalm 6:2

Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.

Jeremiah 30:17

“I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,” says the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.

Psalm 103:2-3

Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

3 John 1:2

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

Luke 17:19

And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Hebrews 13:6

So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

1 Peter 2:24

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. But his wounds you are healed.

Jeremiah 17:14

O Lord, if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!

Jeremiah 3:22

“My wayward children,” says the Lord, “come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts.”

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Hebrew 8:12

For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

Isaiah 43:1

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

Psalm 30:2

O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.

Exodus 15:26

Saying, “If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer.”

Psalm 147:2

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

2 Corinthians 12:10

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Romans 5:8

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jeremiah 33:6

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.

Luke 9:11

When the crowds learned it, they followed him, and he welcomed them and spoke to them of the kingdom of God and cured those who had need of healing.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

James 5:13-15

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

Deuteronomy 32:39

See now that I myself am he! There is no god besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand.

2 Chronicles 7:14-15

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

Isaiah 38:16-17

You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.

Isaiah 57:18-19

I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners, creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the LORD. “And I will heal them.”

Philippians 4:19

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Isaiah 33:2

LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Don’t Cry for Me When I Am Gone

By Unknown Author

So, though I give you all my heart,

the time will come when we must part.

But all around you, you will see,

creatures that speak to you of me;

a tired horse, a hunted thing,

a sparrow with a broken wing.

Pity – and help (I know you will)

and somehow, I will be with you still;

and I shall know, although I’m gone,

the love I gave you lingers on.

Tribute To A Best Friend

By Unknown Author

Sunlight streams through window pane onto a spot on the floor…then I remember, it’s where you used to lie, but now you are no more.

Our feet walk down a hall of carpet and muted echoes sound….then I remember, it’s where your paws would joyously abound

A voice is heard along the road, and up beyond the hill then I remember it can’t be yours….your golden voice is still.

But I’ll take that vacant spot of floor and empty muted hall and lay them with the absent voice and unused dish along the wall

I’ll wrap these treasured memorials in a blanket of my love and keep them for my best friend until we meet above.

The Best Dog of All

by Kelly Roper

Loving and loyal,

A friend through and through,

How in the world can I

live life without you?

I’ve known you since you

Were just a scrappy little pup.

Fighting to survive,

And you never gave up.

I watched you grow into a

beautiful canine friend.

Back in those days,

I could not imagine this end.

But now it is all over,

And you’re truly gone.

Somehow I’ll find a way

To try to carry on.

Perhaps one day I’ll find

A new puppy who,

Will become my dear friend,

But she’ll never replace you.

I’ll keep your little photo

hung up on my wall,

And I’ll always remember you

As the very best dog of all.

Saying Goodbye to My “Good Boy”

by Tamsen Butler

You were always thrilled to see me

No matter what my mood.

Your needs, to put it simply,

Were love, affection, and food.

And in return you gave me joy

My heart filled with your love

You were the “goodest of the boys”

And now you’re good above.

Lend Me A Pup

By Unknown Author

I will lend to you for awhile a puppy, God said,

For you to love him while he lives 

and to mourn for him when he is gone.

Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe for 2 or 3

But will you, till I call him back

take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and 

(should his stay be brief)

you’ll always have his memories 

as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise that he will stay 

since all from Earth return,

But there are lessons taught below

I want this pup to learn.

I’ve looked the whole world over

in search of teachers true,

And from the fold that crowd life’s land

I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love

Nor think the labor vain,

nor hate me when I come to take 

my pup back again?

I fancied that I heard them say,

“Dear Lord, They Will Be Done,”

For all the joys this pup will bring

the risk of grief you’ll run.

Will you shelter him with tenderness,

Will you love him while you may?

And for the happiness you’ll know 

forever grateful stay?

But should I call him back

much sooner than you’ve planned,

please brave the bitter grief that comes 

and try to understand.

If, by your love, you’ve managed

my wishes to achieve,

In memory of him that you’ve loved,

cherish every moment with your faithful bundle, 

and know he loved you too.

She Was Just My Dog

By Unknown Author

She was my other eyes that could see above the clouds;

my other ears that heard above the winds.

She was the part of me that could reach out into the sea.

She had told me a thousand times over that I was her reason for being;

by the way she rested against my leg;

by the way she wagged her tail at my smallest smile;

by the way she showed her hurt when I left without taking her along

(I think it made her sick with worry because she was not along to care for me).

When I was wrong, she was delighted to forgive.

When I was angry, she clowned to make me smile.

When I was happy, she was joy unbounded.

When I was a fool, she ignored it.

When I succeeded, she bragged.

Without her, I am only another person.

With her, I was all powerful.

She was loyalty itself.

She had taught me the meaning of devotion.

With her, I knew a secret comfort and a private peace.

She had brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.

Her head on my knee could heal my human hurts.

Her kisses on my tears washed away my bad feelings.

Her presence by my side was protection against my fears of dark and unknown things.

She had promised to wait for me…whenever…wherever…in case I need her.

And I expect I will — as I always have — she was just my dog.

Four Feet in Heaven

By Alice E. Chase

Your favorite chair is vacant now…

No eager purrs to greet me.

No softly padded paws to run

Ecstatically to meet me.

No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry

Will say it’s time for feeding.

I’ve put away your bowl, and all

The things you won’t be needing;

But I will miss you little friend,

For I could never measure

The happiness you brought me,

The comfort and the pleasure.

And since God put you here to share

In earthly joy and sorrow;

I’m sure there’ll be a place for you

In Heaven’s bright tomorrow…

Her Journey’s Just Begun

By Ellen Brenneman

Don’t think of her as gone away –

her journey’s just begun,

life holds so many facets –

this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting

from the sorrows and the tears

in a place of warmth and comfort

where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing

that we could know today

how nothing but our sadness

can really pass away.

And think of her as living

And think of her as living

In the hearts of those she touched

For nothing loved is ever lost –

And she was loved so much.

Golden Eyes

By Carol Walker

When golden eyes no longer glow,

and we both know it’s time to go,

Don’t look at me with eyes so sad,

but think of better times we had,

When sunlight did upon us shine,

and happy days were yours and mine,

And through the grass we both did run,

and on our backs we felt the sun,

Think not of this dark final hour,

think not of when our lives turned sour,

Think not of hopelessness and pain,

but think of joy and laugh again,

For in that final act of love,

you released me to heaven above,

Where finally from pain I’m free,

where one day you will join with me,

Where together again we will rejoice,

and you and I as with one voice,

Will in perfect harmony sing,

of the joy and pain that love can bring,

And remember me just as I will,

always think of you until,

At last again I see your face,

grieve not, I am in a better place.

My Walks Alone

by Tamsen Butler

Your wagging tail

Your boopable nose

You loved without fail

It was me you chose.

My lap’s now empty

And so is my heart

Walks will be lonely

Now that we’re apart.

A Little Dog Angel

By Noah M. Holland

High up in the courts of heaven today

a little dog angel waits;

with the other angels he will not play,

but he sits alone at the gates.

“For I know my master will come” says he,

“and when he comes he will call for me.”

The other angels pass him by

As they hurry toward the throne,

And he watches them with a wistful eye

as he sits at the gates alone.

“But I know if I just wait patiently

that someday my master will call for me.”

And his master, down on earth below,

as he sits in his easy chair,

forgets sometimes, and whispers low

to the dog who is not there.

And the little dog angel cocks his ears

and dreams that his master’s voice he hears.

And when at last his master waits

outside in the dark and cold,

for the hand of death to open the door,

that leads to those courts of gold,

he will hear a sound through the gathering dark,

a little dog angel’s bark.

I only wanted you

By Unknown Author

They say memories are golden

well maybe that is true.

I never wanted memories,

I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,

a million times I cried.

If love alone could have saved you

you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,

In death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place

no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway

and heartache make a lane,

I’d walk the path to heaven

and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,

and nothing seems the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

the chain will link again.

Heavenly Nap

By Ron Tranmer ©

You lived your nine lives here with me

my loyal, loving friend,

Then God took you up to Paradise

to live life number ten.

I’ll bet you’re peacefully lying

upon an angel’s lap.

Purring there, without a care

having a heavenly nap.

I’ll miss you for a little while,

but our friendship will not end.

Time will pass, and then at last

you’ll be on my lap again.

Cat Poem

By Linda Barnes

They will not go quietly,

the cats who’ve shared our lives.

In subtle ways they let us know

their spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us think

we hear a meow at the door.

Or step back when we drop

a tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the place

the food dish used to be,

And, sometimes, coming home at night,

we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friends

and a new food dish to fill,

That one place in our hearts

belongs to them. . . and always will.

Solace

By Lisa Carmel Singer

From the Silence of your pain, I heard my name

and on the wings of light I have come

to see the sadness in your eyes

that cry without tears

Can you see me, I am here

I will always be near you,

to calm your shattered heart

and to make you smile at the memories

Do you feel me, perhaps a soft brush of fur

You ache to believe it’s real

but you are afraid to hope

you brush away a strand of hair

But it was I, whispering

I am only here for a moment

The silver thread gently quivers

I will leave behind my love in a dream

When you awaken and without really knowing why

Your heart will know at last

That it is all right for now

to say goodbye.

Lucy

By Glenda Gillis

Losing a dog leaves a hole in your heart,

You simply just wait for your life to restart.

The hurt is so deep that you wonder just how,

You’ll ever recover from pain you feel now.

But time is a blessing and memories are gold.

The years that you loved her and watched her grow old,

Are gifts that she leaves you to treasure and then,

One day you’ll see her and love her again.

I Walk With You

By Unknown Author

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.

I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,

“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,

You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.

I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.

I want to reassure you, that I’m not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.

I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said “it’s me.”

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.

I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me, to be so near you everyday.

To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew …

in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over and I smile and watch you yawning

and say “goodnight, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,

I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out . then come home to be with me.

May I Go Now?

By Susan A. Jackson

Written for a beloved pet & friend

May I go now?

Do you think the time is right?

May I say goodbye to pain filled days

and endless lonely nights?

I’ve lived my life and done my best,

an example tried to be.

So can I take that step beyond

and set my spirit free?

I didn’t want to go at first,

I fought with all my might.

But something seems to draw me now

to a warm and loving light.

I want to go

I really do.

It’s difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can

to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me

and share your love and fears.

I know you’re sad and afraid,

because I see your tears.

I’ll not be far,

I promise that, and hope you’ll always know

that my spirit will be close to you

wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.

You know I love you too,

that’s why it’s hard to say goodbye

and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time

and let me hear you say,

because you care so much for me,

you’ll let me go today.

The Watch Dog’s Watch Ends

by Tamsen Butler

It’s time to rest, my pup.

Your watch has come to an end.

Make your journey on up

And wait for me, my friend.

Rest well, my hound.

No need to stay alert.

You needn’t make a sound

Don’t fret about my hurt.

You were a vigilant friend

And a loyal, happy dog.

I’ll stay with you until the end

And leave in an emotional fog.

No More Tears

By John Quealy

The time has come for the tears to end

for you to be happy and cheerful again.

I am safe in God’s home above

cradled in His arms; covered with His love.

We run and play by the Bridge all day

waiting for the day when you’ll be here to stay.

You’ve been crying so much I feel bad

I want you to be happy and not so sad.

Remember the time when I was so small

I couldn’t even pickup the rubber ball.

I fought that ball from morning to night

it made you laugh, I was quite a sight.

Remember teaching me sit and stay

we had such fun since I didn’t really obey.

but you kept at it with test after test

so when I entered my first show I was the best.

Remember the great times we had in the past

like when we walked to the park we had a blast.

We’d run and play all through the park

until the sun went down and it got dark.

Remember the times we went for a ride

I was so excited I’d jump right inside.

Away we went to who knows where

but you and I we didn’t really care.

I’ll always love you, you’re my best friend

I’ll be right with you even to the end.

Always remember the great times we had

and there will be no reason to ever be sad.

I’m Still Here

By Unknown Author

Friend, please don’t mourn for me

I’m still here, though you don’t see.

I’m right by your side each night and day

and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I’m always near.

I’m everything you feel, see or hear.

My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart

as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I’ll never wander out of your sight-

I’m the brightest star on a summer’s night.

I’ll never be beyond your reach-

I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach.

I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes around

and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.

I’m the beautiful flowers of which you’re so fond,

The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in the spring,

The first warm raindrop that April will bring.

I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,

and you’ll see that the face in the moon shine is mine.

When you start thinking there’s no one to love you,

you can talk to through the Lord up above you.

I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,

and you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I’m the hot salty tears that flow when you weep

and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.

I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.

Just look for me friend, I’m every place!

The Last Battle

By Unknown Author

If it should be that I grow frail and weak,

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

then you must do what must be done

For this, the last battle, can’t be won.

You will be sad, I understand,

Don’t let the grief then stay your hand,

For this day more than all the rest

Your love and friendship stand the test.

We’ve had so many happy years,

What is to come can hold no fears.

You’d not want me to suffer so;

When the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they’ll tend

And stay with me, if you can, to the end.

Hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time, you will see,

It is a kindness you do for me.

Although my tail its last was waved,

From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

Don’t grieve that it should be you,

Who must decide this thing to do,

We’ve been so close, we two, these years;

Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

Smile, for we walked together for a little while.

Golden Eyes

By Carol Walker

When golden eyes no longer glow,

and we both know it’s time to go,

Don’t look at me with eyes so sad,

but think of better times we had,

When sunlight did upon us shine,

and happy days were yours and mine,

And through the grass we both did run,

and on our backs we felt the sun,

Think not of this dark final hour,

think not of when our lives turned sour,

Think not of hopelessness and pain,

but think of joy and laugh again,

For in that final act of love,

you released me to heaven above,

Where finally from pain I’m free,

where one day you will join with me,

Where together again we will rejoice,

and you and I as with one voice,

Will in perfect harmony sing,

of the joy and pain that love can bring,

And remember me just as I will,

always think of you until,

At last again I see your face,

grieve not, I’m in a better place.

Treasured Friend

By Unknown Author

I lost a treasured friend today

The little dog who used to lay

Her gentle head upon my knee

And shared her silent thoughts with me.

She’ll come no longer to my call

Retrieve no more her favourite ball

A voice far greater than my own

Has called her to his golden throne.

Although my eyes are filled with tears

I thank him for the happy years

He let her spend down here with me

And for her love and loyalty.

When it is time for me to go

And join her there, this much I know

I shall not fear the transient dark

For she will greet me with a bark.

Other things you should do for your friend who lost a parent

Be there for them.

You don’t need to prepare an extensive step-by-step mourning program for your friend. Being there for someone is one of the simplest yet equally effective ways to comfort someone. Often, people may not be able or even want to express their grief through words. 

Favors are a fantastic way of helping someone in grief. You can do subtle things like bringing them food, cleaning their house, or cooking for them. Spend some quality time doing things they love: take them out for a drink or a walk. Instead of asking them if there’s anything you can do for them, just do it. 

Help them process their emotions.

As time passes, the best thing you can provide someone is reassurance and a safe space to process the ebbs and flows of emotions they’re feeling. Grief and mourning can lead people to come across a whole flurry of things they might literally be experiencing for the first time. You want to empower them to accept help and express themselves on their terms. Here are some questions terrific for doing just that:

• What are you feeling today?
• How are you thinking about your mom or dad right now?
• What memories are vividly coming to mind when you think of this person?

Be consistent.

Grief doesn’t go away after the first month. It may not even go away after the first year. It sticks with you forever, lingering in various sizes and intensities. It can re-open like a scab, and it may hurt as much as it did when it was fresh. 

Be that friend who’s there through everything. Be the one that randomly checks up on that person when they need it most. Especially on special days like their parent’s birthday, mother’s day, or father’s day, you want to see how your friend’s doing. Do all these things out of love for your friend because they’ll need it most in such a troublesome time.

“I’ve been keeping you in my thoughts a lot.”

Let your close friend or relative know you care about them. If you haven’t been in contact for a while, this will help comfort them, knowing how much they mean to you.

“You are so important to me.”

Inevitably, responsibilities and life get in the way of our relationships at times. Let them know you value that person and the relationship you have. 

“You have been so strong.”

The loss of a loved one is an unbearable burden. Keeping oneself together despite that is an incredibly tough task, and you should acknowledge the strength your loved one has shown to go through that. 

“I’m proud of you.”

One of the most comforting things you can tell someone is that you’re proud of them. These words can be very reassuring for your loved one, who is going through such a difficult time. 

“I’m going to miss them so much.”

This phrase lets the bereaved know you’re also going through grief and mourning. It lets them know that they’re not alone through this.

“Everyone loved them. They could lighten the energy in a room in an instant.”

It will comfort the bereaved in knowing that those around them treasured the dearly departed. It would mean a lot for them to know that that person meant something to their community. 

“Things won’t be the same without them.”

Things really won’t be the same. The surviving loved ones of the departed will have to live with the fact that they’re really gone. This statement further reinforces how important the deceased was. 

“I can’t possibly imagine what you’re going through.”

Saying things like “it will be okay” or “you’ll get through this” trivialize the situation your loved one’s going through. Saying this phrase lets them know that it’s okay to go through what they’re going through. This phrase validates that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling. 

“I’ll be here to listen to you when you’re ready to talk.”

Some people won’t be very chatty, especially if the passing just happened. They’re still trying to process all the emotions they’re feeling in the moment. Just let them know whenever they’re ready and need someone to talk to, you’ll be there for them. This will go a long way. 

“How are you doing?”

Open-ended questions encourage the bereaved to express themselves. Of course, you should expect they won’t be doing too well. Engage them in conversation if you feel like they’re comfortable with it. 

“Do you need some space?”

Sometimes, space is the most important thing you can give someone. Too often, we go out of our way to comfort somebody when all they need is space and time alone to manage their emotions freely. Trying too hard to comfort them could be causing more good than harm.

“My heart breaks with you at their loss.”

Death is very rarely an isolated experience. Everybody who interacted with the deceased in some way, shape, or form will feel the effects of death. We all know the saying, “misery loves company.” And having someone to share the grief with can definitely help.

“Your mom lived a long life. She’s leaving behind a beautiful legacy.”

You live your entire life writing your legacy. Comfort the bereaved by reminding them of the beautiful legacy their loved one left for us. 

“Nothing I can say can make the pain go away, but I hope you know I’m right here for you.”

While words are powerful, they can only do so much. At the end of the day, they’re not going to take the pain away. As a friend, all you can do is hope that the bereaved can healthily process their emotions and continue. You can help them with that as much as they need it. 

“I know you are hurting, and that’s okay.”

Validate all their negative feelings. It’s perfectly okay not to be okay in situations like these. The gravity of these situations calls for these sorts of reactions. It lets them know it’s perfectly natural, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling how they do.  

“Take as long as you need.”

Everyone processes grief in their own way, on their own timeline. Some people need more time than others, and that’s also okay. Nobody should have to be rushed into feeling better, and this phrase reiterates that. 

“I love you.”

Possibly the simplest thing you can say to a loved one who just lost someone is “I love you.” This phrase is powerful, even all-encompassing in a way. It covers all the bases that you’ll be there for them through everything. It might just be the most powerful saying among all of these.

Culture

Another thing you might want to consider is culture. Several cultures have specific traditional attires and themes for funerals. For example, the Chinese heavily use the color white when mourning, whereas red is the primary color present at funerals in South Africa. Furthermore, the Chinese believe red is a color of happiness, so it’s strictly forbidden at funerals. Taking culture and these other details into account makes sure you don’t come off as ignorant and disrespectful. 

Ask for the family’s advice.

If you’re really unsure of what your attire should be, asking for the family’s input is recommended. While you may be close to the departed, their family might have a different idea of how they want to conduct the funeral. With that, you can ask them what they think would be appropriate for the occasion.

Common outfit ideas

Funerals are typically conventional, so here are the traditional attires that are guaranteed to be appropriate almost 100% of the time. Remember, it’s better to overdress than underdress. 

Men:

• Dark suits and buttoned shirts
• Long-sleeved shirts with collars that cover the neck
• Dress shoes or loafers
• Black or dark-colored slacks

Women:

• Dark dresses or suits
• Keep shoulders covered with a cardigan or a blazer.
• Wear the appropriate length of a skirt or dress.
• Long-sleeved blouses
• Pants

What not to wear at a funeral

These are clothes you’ll want to avoid in most cases.

Men:

• Baseball caps
• Shorts
• Jeans and ripped jeans (though sometimes jeans are acceptable)
• Sneakers, athletic shoes, and flip flops
• Bright colors (unless appropriate)
• Tank tops

Women:

• Skimpy or revealing dresses
• Bright sundresses
• Shorts
• Tank tops

Conclusion

The most crucial thing you should think about when dressing for a funeral is respect. You’ll want to express your deep respect for the departed in everything you do and how you conduct yourself at their funeral. So, wear something that makes you blend in and not attract any unnecessary attention. Remember, this event is not about you, so it’s inappropriate to break out a new outfit just for the hell of it.